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‏إظهار الرسائل ذات التسميات autism acceptance. إظهار كافة الرسائل
‏إظهار الرسائل ذات التسميات autism acceptance. إظهار كافة الرسائل

Autism Disorders and Family: Conor Has Always Loved Life and Basked in the Love of Family

Conor has always loved and enjoyed life to the full. He has also basked in the love and affection of family. In the pictures of Conor's early years that follow he is seen with his Mom, Dad, Brother Brandon and Grammy Doherty.  We have accepted, embraced and loved Conor, autism and all, but we have not embraced his Autistic Disorder because to do so would be to abandon the boy that we love so much.  We fought for ABA and accommodated education services for him to help improve his situation in life which, as for most, will grow more difficult with time, particularly when time, age and the inevitable fate of all humans takes his family from him.   We fight for real autism research aimed at finding treatments and cures that will benefit Conor and other persons with autism disorders who need and want treatment.  

I challenge anyone, Neurodiversity ideologue or otherwise,  to say that the boy in these pictures is not accepted and loved by his family.  Don't do it anonymously or under an internet stage name though.  Put your full real  name on your comment and tell me this boy is not living life and being loved to the full.

Conor has Autistic Disorder and Intellectual Disabilities. He has a very restricted life ahead of him once Mom and Dad are gone. Those are realities we as caring, clear headed parents can not ignore. Because of that we fight hard for accommodation, research, treatment and ... cure for Autistic Disorder to benefit  the wonderful gift that we have enjoyed for so many years ... to benefit Conor.













River Rising Tall Guy Walking

Mom, Dad and Tall Guy (Conor) were up for our early morning trail walk to the Superstore.  We  live near the St. John River which has been rising.  You can see the waters up near the trail and bridges in the pictures.  But the trail is still dry and clear and we headed out.  Conor looked forward to one of his usual treats -  "Baby" Birthday Cakes at the Superstore.  

When we arrived the cakes were just fresh out of the oven and had no icing on them so we went for a walk over to the nearby Circle Place where Conor waited patiently.  When we returned the icing was still being done but one was all ready for Conor.  The lady at the counter did it up for him right away. (It isn't Conor's birthday he just likes the small "Baby" Birthday cakes).  We don't give lectures to the people at the Superstore, or anyhwere else in Fredericton, about autism acceptance.  Conor has always been well treated by the good people of Fredericton. And we appreciate it. 























Severe Autism Reality Guest Comment from Jersey Guy

The following comment was offered in response to the post Stephanie Lynn Keil on Curing Autism:

"I don't have an autistic child but I taught at a school for autistic kids for two years. I find it unbelievable that a parent of a child who head bangs, gnaws his own wrists until they're bloody and who is unable to speak or communicate would not want her child to be normal.

I know that normal people suffer, too, but severe autism is a horrible scourge. I'm not talking about Asperger's but severe, incapacitating autism, the kind that makes kids howl in torment for hours at a time. That kind of autism isn't merely a different way of relating to the world, it's an affliction that ruins lives.

Of course I would love him if a child of mine had that kind of autism but I would not pretend that I would not give anything I had for him to be able to speak and live in the world as an independent, contributing member of society. Those parent who pretend to be thrilled that their child has severe autism are lying."

Jersey Guy, March 15, 2010




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Autism Speaks Welcomes To Its Board Autism Cure Opponent John Elder Robison

Autism Speaks has responded to my comment concerning publication of my comment on the official Autism Speaks blog site about the views of new Autism Speaks board member John Elder Robison.  AS did, subsequent to my initiial comment on this site,  post my questions to new Autism Speaks board member John Elder Robison. Mr. Robison also answered very honestly my questions on the Autism Speaks blog although I am very concerned about what his answers portend for the future direction of Autism Speaks.

Mr. Robison is a very high functioning person with Aspergers Disorder of whom   Autism Speaks per Dr. Geraldine Dawson has announced:

"It is essential that  our grant funding reflects the needs and perspectives of the community we serve, namely, people with autism spectrum disorders. We are very pleased to welcome John to our scientific review boards. His insight and skills will prove invaluable."

Mr. Robison is, like Ari Ne'eman,  a very high functioning person with an Asperger's Disorder diagnosis.  Autism Speaks, as stated in its announcement,  feels that Mr. Robison's  Aspergers condition permits him to offer insights on behalf of all persons with autism spectrum disorders.  The autism spectrum, at least until the DSM 5 comes into effect, includes low functioning persons with Autistic Disorders. At least 75-80% of persons with Autistic Disorder have been estimated by credible studies and agencies such as the Canadian Psychological Association and the CDC to have an Intellectual Disability.  How the unquestionably talented and very intelligent Mr. Robison will offer insights into the life challenges, needs and perspectives of those with Autistic Disorder is not explained  by Autism Speaks and is not a proposition that I accept as the father of a son with severe Autistic Disorder.  Of course, from Mr Robison's perspective he is better suited to represent my son's interests than I am as his father.

On the Autism Speaks official blog site, where Mr. Robison was featured as a guest commentator, he stated:

"I guess I’d counter with a question of my own. What makes you think a person who cares for a disabled autistic person is better qualified to speak on their behalf than me, a high functioning autistic individual?


Caretakers all too often have their own agendas at odds with the people they supposedly care for. They want to read a paper; their charge wants to keep practicing. There is always the temptation to do what’s easiest for the caretaker rather than what’s best for the care-taken person.


There are so many cases of caretakers abusing or neglecting their charges and forcing unwanted therapies on disabled people that I would not be so quick to assume caregivers should have the exclusive right to speak on behalf of the disabled.

That said, I know there are many loving caretakers out there who are truly in tune with what their disabled charges want and need. I would give considerable weight to their opinions if I were in a situation where that was appropriate.

But that is not what I joined the board to do. I am not there to judge anyone else, or speak on anyone’s behalf. I am there to render my own perspective on proposed scientific research and treatments studies, as an autistic person at my particular level of functionality.

A better question to ask might be: Should Autism Speaks seek individuals with a greater degree of autistic disability to serve beside me on these boards. In my opinion, the answer to that is yes and I hope to see that achieved in the future.

The same reader asked a second question: Do you support research aimed at finding cures for autism?

All of the science to date says autism is founded in structural differences in the brain. Differences are stable things. They are not diseases in need of a cure. Taking away the difference is – to me – tantamount to changing to another person. In any case, the idea of such brain configuration is in the realm of science fiction today.

Having said that, I am well aware that autism presents some of us on the spectrum with virtually insurmountable challenges from crushing levels of disability. Others – like me – grow up with milder but still significant components of disability. As much as I recognize my own unique gifts I never lose sight of the “hard parts;” the reason autism is a disability condition.

That is precisely the reason I joined the Autism Speaks boards. I want to bring my autistic perspective to the boards that choose how to allocate our limited research dollars to the best benefit of people living with autism today.

For that reason I fully support research to develop ways to remediate the things that disable us. For example, I have written extensively about research I’m involved with that’s aimed at minimizing social disability by helping us read nonverbal signals that we were previously blind to. I am working with the scientists at Beth Israel Deaconess to develop a study to improve language comprehension and expression in people with autistic speech impairments. I support research to help alleviate the gastric distress that plagues many of us.

However, none of those things are “cures for autism.” They are studies aimed at attacking specific challenges autism presents us. While I have high hopes that we can remediate certain autistic disabilities, I believe our underlying autism will remain. I am not aware of any proposed research that can change that reality.

That’s where acceptance comes in. I want therapies that can help free people from disability. At the same time, I believe we have the right to be recognized in other ways as different but equal in larger human society. Through the efforts of Autism Speaks and all of us within and without the advocacy organizations I hope to see that goal furthered as well."

Without responding, at this time,  to all of the points raised by John Elder Robison in his reply to my questions I do thank him for stating clearly and honestly  that he is opposed to research aimed at curing autism. And  he does pay lip service to representing the perspective of  an "autistic" (Aspergers) person with  his particular level (very high) of functionality) he does not restrict the content of his views to that perspective.  He does not, for example, oppose allocation of research funds for curing Aspergers Disorder alone; he opposes allocation of research funds aimed at curing autism a concept which he derisively dismisses as science fiction.

To the parents of severely autistic children who are seeking autism cure oriented research from Autism Speaks Mr. Robison has an answer.  Hey, some parents and caregivers do not act in the best interests of their charges, their children in the case of parents. Therefor better to let John Elder Robison who doesn't actually know your children or charges, who doesn't share their condition speak on their behalf.
The primary concern I have with Mr Robison's views is his opposition to research aimed at curing autism.  If those are his views then it is a clear indication that Autism Speaks will not be using the research dollars that it solicits, including the money solicited from parents of severely autistic children, to back cure oriented autism research.

For now at least the Autism Speaks official web site under Autism Speaks History still describes itself as  an organization dedicated to finding cures for autism disorders:

"Autism Speaks was founded in February 2005 by Bob and Suzanne Wright, grandparents of a child with autism. Since then, Autism Speaks has grown into the nation's largest autism science and advocacy organization, dedicated to funding research into the causes, prevention, treatment and  a cure for autism."

In the section titled Our Mission  Autism Speaks states"

"We are dedicated to funding global biomedical research into
the causes, prevention, treatments, and cure for autism"

It is difficult for me to understand how the mission of Autism Speaks to fund research into curing autism disorders can be reconciled with the views  of its new board member and scientific and research advisor that autism can not, and should not, be cured, that the idea of curing autism is ... science fiction.




Hopefully,  in future news releases,  Autism Speaks will confirm whether it will, or will not, continue to raise funds for research aimed at curing autism.  Hopefully they will do so before they ask members of the public, including the parents of autistic children that AS Board member Robison holds in such low esteem, for contributions.





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Conor's Saturday Bridge Adventure
















Saturday is usually a good day for some walking fun, adventure and a treat. Today Conor and Dad hit the trail, crossed the Westmorland Street Bridge and headed home. We made time on the other side of the river for a treat stop (including Dad's coffee) at the Second Cup in Kings Place where Conor, even when he gets a bit loud, has always been warmly received.




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Buddies Forever




Parents advocating for our autistic children are occasionally lectured and told that we must stop trying to "change" our children. We must learn to accept our children's autism and find joy - in their autism. I do not find joy in Conor's autistic disorder which presents him with serious challenges now and for the future. But I find great joy and comfort in Conor himself. And it takes no effort on my part. Conor is a happy and loving boy. And lots of fun.

During the Fredericton Flood, now receding, sleep was hard to come by as we stayed on top of the basement flooding wth sump pump, shop vac and buckets. Above Dad tries to get some rest on the couch. Conor, stimmer straw and all, decides to pay a visit.

Buddies forever.

Autism and Affection - Conor Waits Anxiously For Dad

Last evening I got home late after finishing work at 8 pm local time. When I pulled in the driveway I could see Conor though the window in our side door .... waiting anxiously for Dad. His mom said he had been asking for me since 5:30 pm and had gotten a bit upset, asking for me almost non stop, with some wall banging. He was happy to see Dad and insisted (Daddy help) that I help put him to bed.

Obviously I wish Conor had not gotten upset but at the same time I would be lying if his expressed desire to see his old Dad at the end of the day did not lift my spirits considerably. Although I have trouble with the concept of finding joy in autism, I have no trouble accepting Conor for who he is, a fun loving, caring boy who loves his mom, dad, brother, Nanny, Grammy, Grampy and whoever shares his life with him in a caring way. That is who Conor is ... with or without autism.

Whole Picture Autism Acceptance

Parents and other autism advocates seeking to help autistic children and adults face many obstacles, not the least of which is a distorted "autism acceptance" movement. This distorted version of autism acceptance promotes the view that autism is a good thing. While persons with this perspective may pay lip service to the fact that autism is a neurological disorder, a disability, most members of this movement will not talk about the harsher realities of autism, particularly classic autism disorder. They will disparage in the harshest terms persons who talk about these realities. Whether it is called "natural variation" "neurodiversity" or "joy of autism" the autism acceptance advocates do anything but accept autism. What they do is tear the autism picture in half and accept and embrace the pretty parts of the autism picture and attack and disparage anyone who talks about the negative realities of autism. The self proclaimed autism acceptance advocates are deceiving themselves when they talk about accepting autism. They are really accepting only the pretty half of the picture not the whole picture of autism.

Most parental autism advocates yearn for whole picture autism acceptance by society. They wish they could take their children into public venues without stares and rude remarks when their children, overwhelmed by the environment around them, suffer meltdowns. They fight for autism specific health and education interventions for their children. They fight for treatment and cure for their children because they refuse to delude themselves about the nature of their children's neurological disorder. They accept their children's autism ... the whole picture and they refuse to be passive about the negative parts of the picture. These whole picture autism acceptance parents fight to help their autistic children that they love so dearly. They do not surrender to the lure of sweet surrender. They stand up and fight for their children.

Parents who accept the whole picture of their children's autism do not let a very high functioning autistic stranger tell them over the internet how they should raise, care for and ... help their autistic children. They seek to help their children overcome their deficits and for this they are reviled by self proclaimed autism acceptance advocates. They are fighting for their children because they love them ... and they accept their children's autism ... not part of the autism picture ... not just the pretty parts ... but the whole picture. Accepting autism means accepting the whole picture of autism .. including the parts that aren't so pretty.. the parts that don't get mentioned by anti-ABA crusaders in their Supreme Court of Canada and CBC Radio appearances.

Conor Tracks

I have mentioned before that my son Conor, now 11 1/2, with Autism Disorder and profound developmental delays, is a great joy in my life. His autism presents serious challenges and precludes him from having an independent life. Despite the many challenges though, Conor adds much to my life.



When I see him at the end of the work day, face pressed against the window waiting for Dad, or when he walks into a room, I get a "Happy Buzz". I feel better, my spirits are lifted. Sometimes I get a Conor Happy Buzz even when I don't see him.

Last night, after Conor was asleep in his room, and during a commercial break from the season premiere of "My Name Is Earl" I went to the kitchen for a glass of water and spotted something on the kitchen floor. The ABC 's are Conor Tracks, signs that he had been there. And once again I got a Conor Happy Buzz.

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